The
Rocker Who Shatters Me
A
Bet…
Yes,
I made a bet with my best friend—my now ex-best friend. It had been a stupid,
heat of the moment kind of thing. I’d just wanted to get her out of my system
and move one. Instead I’ve lived to regret it ever since. I lost the girl I
loved, a girl that possessed my very soul. Now I can’t even get close to
Natalie. She thinks all she ever meant to me was just the means to the end of a
stupid, stupid game.
…For
a Bet!
In
the span of one night I’d gone from thinking I had a future with the man I
loved to SHATTERED at his feet. I can’t get over it. The pain is too strong,
too destructive as it festers more and more inside of me. And then my friend
came up with the perfect revenge for both our broken hearts.
“I
bet you…”
Those
three little words gave me a reason to ball my pain up and throw it back in
Devlin Cutter’s face. I would let him back in, let him think he had a chance
with me once again. And then I would walk away, leaving him broken and bleeding
at my feet as he once had left me.
Prologue
Natalie
One Year Ago
The
concert had been over hours ago, but the band still had another thirty minutes
of meeting fans. I tried not to let my irritation at the ten women and five men
still standing in line show on my face as I continued to do my job.
I
just wanted everyone to leave, so that I could wrap this night up and go out
with Devlin. That wasn’t asking too much was it? To get to spend a little time
with my boyfriend, doing what normal couples do rather than having to share him
with his fans? Well, I didn’t think it was asking very much.
For
the last few days we hadn’t even had a few minutes alone, and it was about to
drive me crazy. I couldn’t even kiss the man I loved without having someone pop
up on us on the bus, or climb into bed with him at night without something
coming up to keep me out of his arms for the night.
I
was starting to think that fate didn’t want me and Dev together. But that was
ridiculous. It had taken us a long time to get to the place we are now, with us
loving each other rather than fighting our feelings. I was happy, and there
wasn’t anything on the planet that would keep me from being with Devlin Cutter.
Without
even realizing what I was doing I stopped and my eyes sought out the man in
question. He was sitting down at his table while the fans made their way from
Axton’s, then to Wroth’s, Zander’s, Liam’s and ending at his. He was smiling up
at some guy who was talking a mile a minute. That smile was one of my favorite
sights in the world, the way his aquamarine eyes crinkled at the edges and his
three day old beard hid the dimples that I was such a sucker for. His even,
white teeth stood out against his dark tan complexion and made me want to kiss
him to see if he still tasted like the toothpaste he’d used before taking the
stage earlier that night. My heart melted along with another part of my anatomy
when I saw that smile.
“It’s
weird that one of my best friend’s sister is dating my dad,” Harris complained
as he stopped beside of me.
I
turned to frown down at him, trying to figure out if he was teasing me or if he
was serious. He’d always found something to tease me about over the last few
years. He was good friends with my little sister, Jenna, and I’d always had a
soft spot for Harris despite the fact that I’d seemed to always be in love with
his father from the moment I’d laid eyes on him. But this was a serious matter.
If he really thought that it was weird that I was dating his dad, then I wanted
to deal with it now.
Harris
grinned up at me, reminding me so much of his father that it was hard not to
love this kid as if he were my own. Yeah, now that was the weird part. I was
twenty-two years old to his fifteen. That was extremely weird to me. “Relax,
Nat. I’m just messing with you. I think it’s kind of cool that you are with
Dad. He’s smiled a lot more in the last few weeks than I’ve seen him smile in a
long time.”
Relief
washed over me and I punched him in the arm. “You are such a punk, you know
that?”
“Yeah.
You tell me that on a daily basis. But you love me anyway.”
“Sadly
enough, that’s true.” I punched him again and forced my attention back to the
job at hand. I still had things to do so that I could leave when Devlin was
finished. “I’ve got stuff to do, wanna help me?”
“You
mean work when I could go back to the hotel, order room service and watch newly
released movies?” Harris raised a brow at me like I was crazy for even asking
such a question. “Yeah, sure, why not? I can help you out, earn brownie points
with your sister, and make my dad think that I’m a good kid all at once.”
“Brownie
points with Jenna?” I questioned as I lead him back toward the stage the band
had performed on earlier that night. “Why would you need to earn…?” I broke off
when I realized why he would want to. “My sister will never like you like that,
Harris.” There were plenty of reasons why I didn’t think that Harris and my
sister would be anything other than friends. But the major one was the only one
that I needed to know that Harris was wasting his time on Jenna.
My
sister had realized when she was fourteen that she wasn’t into guys. Plain and
simple. Of course, I was the only one who knew that little piece of
information, because Jenna thought our mother would freak out at having a
lesbian for a daughter. Jenna wasn’t wrong. Stella Stevenson would probably disown
her youngest daughter if she ever found out about her gender preference.
Our
mother was a total bitch like that. I hadn’t always thought that way, of
course. When you’re a kid you don’t notice the things adults would about
someone. It had taken Jenna, however, to open my eyes to our parent’s small
minded bitchiness. When Jenna had run away to find our brothers because she was
tired of our mother putting Drake down when Jenna would watch America’s Rocker
every week and gush that one of the judges was her brother, I’d seriously
opened my eyes. It was then that I’d realized that my brothers had never been
the bad guys, had their reasons for not wanting a relationship with me or my
dad when their own mother had died. It had all been my mother’s doing, and I
couldn’t blame Drake and Shane for turning their backs on my dad and me when my
mother had forced our dad to turn his back on them when they had needed him so
desperately.
With
Harris helping me it still took more than forty minutes to finish up all the
after show things that needed my attention so that I wouldn’t be as busy the
next night. When we were finally finished I gave the fifteen year old a hug and
told him to head on back to the hotel. Harris yawned and nodded. “I’m beat.
Have fun with Dad.” He grinned, flashing those damn dimples of his that were
identical to his fathers and with a wink left.
Laughing
I watched him walk away before I shook my head and lowered my gaze back to the
list I had in my hands, making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. I was so lost
in thought, my eyes critical on the long list in front of me that I didn’t hear
footsteps until a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist from behind.
Devlin
nuzzled my hair aside with his nose and placed an open mouthed kiss against the
sensitive flesh just under my left ear. “Miss me?”
The
mere sound of his deep voice made me shiver and I rocked my hips back against
him, delighted at the feel of his hard growing against my ass. “More than you
will ever know,” I assured him as dropped my clipboard on the ground without
caring if I’d finished everything on the list or not. Turning in his arms I
wrapped my own around his neck, letting my eyes drink in the sight off his
beautiful face before brushing my lips over his in a teasingly soft kiss.
Just
as I knew he would, Devlin made a low grumbling sound deep in his chest, almost
like he was purring and unwrapped his arms from my waist so that his hands
could tangle in my long hair. His fingers locked my head into place so that he
could take control of the kiss and devour my mouth in a kiss that left me
aching for him in a way no one ever had before.
When
he finally lifted his head, just an inch or two so that he could brush his lips
over the tip of my nose, I was breathing hard and rubbing my lower body against
his hard-on. “You ready to go?”
After
that kiss I was more than ready, and going to some club where we would be
surrounded with countless strangers for a few hours was definitely not what I
wanted to be doing. “Can’t we just go back to our hotel room and make love?” I
murmured, placing my hands on his chest and tracing little hearts over each
male nipple through the material of his OtherWorld T-shirt.
Devlin
raised a brow at my request. “What happened to the whining girl that left my
bed this morning, complaining about me never taking her out?”
If
he hadn’t been smiling I might have slapped his face. I hated it when he teased
me like that. But I could tease him, too. “I’m a woman, Dev, not a girl. Your
woman,” I murmured in a breathy whisper as I stood on tip toe so that my kiss
damped lips could brush over his ear, making him tremble just like I had
earlier. “And your woman has every right to change her mind a thousand times
before she finally decides to settle on what she really wants. And what your
woman wants right now is for you to take her back to our room and let her suck
your dick.”
With
a muttered curse Devlin picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. One big
hand swatted across my ass, making a loud smacking sound as he hurried for the
closest exit. “You are an evil little bitch, you know that Nat?”
I
propped my head up on my hand so that I didn’t get dizzy from the way he was
carrying me. “So you’ve told me a hundred times before. But you like it.”
“No,
babe. I fucking love it.” He was practically sprinting as he headed toward a
row of taxies waiting in front of the civic center, his long legs eating up the
distance in no time. I heard a door open and then he dropped me onto the bench
seat before climbing in after me. But instead of the address of our hotel he
gave the name of the club he’d mentioned over lunch earlier that day.
“Dev,”
I whined wanting to just go back to our room and have him sink deep into me for
the rest of the night.
With
a deep chuckle he wrapped his arms around me again and pulled me against his
side. “Nat,” he mocked me. “Relax. We’ll have more than enough time for that
later. Right now I want to take my woman out and show her off at the club. Just
like you begged me for this morning.” His lips captured mine and his tongue
snuck out, licking my bottom lip until I opened for him.
We
were still kissing when the taxi pulled to a stop in front of a club with a
line of people all the way down the block. The driver cleared his throat loudly
and Devlin grumbled something against my lips before finally lifting his head
and tossing a hundred dollar bill at the man. “Keep the change,” he bit out as
he opened the door and pulled me out behind him.
Once
we were on the sidewalk Devlin stopped and kissed me again. His long, raven
black hair fell forward, shielding us from the crowd that was lined up behind
us. His hands wrapped around my neck, telling me that he didn’t want me going
anywhere anytime soon. Didn’t he know that I would never be the first to step
back? I loved him more than anything or anyone on the planet. He was the reason
I woke up every morning with a smile on my face, the reason I hadn’t already
lost my mind on this tour.
How
long we stood there getting lost in our kiss I couldn’t honestly say. When he
finally lifted his head, his aquamarine eyes were dark with passion and he was
smiling. “Later,” he promised.
I
licked my lips, sighing when I tasted him there. “Yeah, later.”
Laughing
he grasped my hand and entwined our fingers, pulling me toward the front of the
line where two huge bouncers stood with headsets sticking from their ears and a
clipboard. The first guy frowned at Devlin but the second stepped forward and
shook his hand. “Welcome back, Mr. Cutter.”
“Thanks,
man.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out something before seamlessly passing
it over to the other man. Another hundred or two I was sure. Would I ever get
over the fact that I was now surrounded by money? Sure, I hadn’t grown up poor,
but we sure as hell hadn’t been rich by any one’s standards. Devlin didn’t
carry anything less than a ten dollar bill in his wallet. If he got a fives or
ones back he just gave them away.
The
man’s eyes drifted over to me and he smirked when he took in my kiss swollen
lips. I shot him a glare and then the finger, making Devlin laugh as he stepped
around the two bouncers and into the club, much to the loudly protesting of the
people still in line. I knew that look well. I’d gotten more than once over the
last few weeks. People knew who Devlin was, and they had never—not ever seen
him with the same chick more than once. When they looked at me they assumed I
was just Devlin’s piece of ass for the night and would be discarded come
morning.
And
that was when I got to do the smirking because I knew that I was going to be in
my rocker’s bed the next night and the night after and the night after that. He
had promised me that our relationship was something special to him. That what
we had would last because he cared about me.
Sure
it hadn’t been a declaration of loved, but it had been good enough for me. We’d
only been dating for a few weeks now, and I wasn’t in a rush. We had the rest
of our lives to say those three little words to each other.
Inside
the club we moved straight for the bar. Devlin ordered a beer for himself and a
glass of my favorite wine for me. I loved that I didn’t have to tell him what I
wanted. He knew me well and always thought about what I wanted or needed, in
and out of bed.
When
the drinks were placed in front of us I reached for my glass but Devlin shook
his head and lifted it to his lips. With his eyes locked on mine he took a
small sip before offering the glass to me. My panties dampened even more than
they already were as I turned the glass so that I could put my lips where his
had just been. As I took my first sip his eyes darkened and he mouthed a curse
before swallowing half his beer in one gulp.
Laughing
I took another drink of my wine and grabbed his hand. I didn’t need alcohol
tonight. I just needed him. “Dance with me?”
With
another swallow, the bottle of Samuel Adams was empty and he followed me onto
the dance floor. For the next hour I wrapped myself around Devlin and let
myself go to the beat of the music. I’d always loved to dance, but with Devlin
holding me close even through the fast songs, it was an exhilarating experience.
As
we danced he kissed me from time to time, but never more than a brush of his
lips over mine. We both knew that if we kissed like we both wanted that we
would end up in a bathroom stall, and Devlin would hate himself afterwards. The
one time that we had done something like that he’d been pissed at himself for
three days because he respected me more than that.
Our
relationship meant more to him than a quick fuck in some dirty bathroom.
Sweating
like crazy, I finally let him led me from the dance floor to rehydrate. We sat
at the bar while he drank another beer and I sipped at my water and curled my
fingers around the ends of his hair. My own hair was a light brown, with a few
blonde highlights. It wasn’t as long as his, but there wasn’t very many people
who did have hair as long and healthy as his. He loved my hair just as much as
I loved his. When we were in bed, lying beside of each other, he would lift a
few locks of my hair and kiss them as reverently as if he were kissing my skin
when we made love.
Devlin
leaned forward and kissed me, deeper than he had in over an hour. The taste of
beer didn’t completely mask his own unique taste and I opened my mouth,
silently begging him to take more. When he did I knew it was past time we left.
My panties were drenched and I was throbbing between my legs for his attention.
Without
warning Devlin stumbled against me. His hands caught me around the waist,
righting us both before I hit the bar. His eyes asked me if I was okay and I
nodded before he turned with a snarl to the man who had just pushed him.
“What
the fuck asshole?” Devlin demanded as he faced Zander. “You nearly made me fall
on my girl.”
I
nearly groaned at the sight of Zander standing there. His glassy eyes told me
he was drunk, without having to see the further proof of it in the way he was
walking. He’d been drinking a more often over the last few weeks, even more so
when Devlin and I started seeing each other. I knew it was because of me and I
hated it. I’d never led him on, had always made it obvious that all we would
ever be was friends. That didn’t seem to matter to Zander, because he’d been
nothing but an angry bear to me and everyone else.
“Sorry,
bro. I didn’t see you standing there,” Zander said with a sneer before turning
his attention back to the bartender and ordering a shot and a beer.
Devlin
clenched his fists at his sides and I could tell he was about to punch his
friend. Emmie had threatened to join the tour if they got into another fight,
and I honestly didn’t want to see more bloodshed between the two men. Stepping
between Devlin and Zander I put my hands on Devlin’s chest. “I’m ready to go,
babe.”
Aquamarine
eyes lost some of their hostility when they landed on my face and I breathed a
sigh of relief. “Let me pay the tab, baby, and we’ll go.”
“Don’t
let me rush you off.” Zander tossed his shot of whisky back and slammed the
small glass on the bar top. Picking up his beer he turned toward us. Devlin was
talking to the bartender who had started his tab. I tried to ignore Zander, not
wanting to make Dev any more upset that he already was. The two had once been
best friends but now, because of me, they could barely stand each other. I
hated that I was the cause of the rift between them.
Zander’s
cold hand wrapped around my elbow and swung me around to face him. The smell of
alcohol on his breath made me blink a few times it was strong. “Stay and dance
with me, Nat.”
I
gave him a grim smile, not wanting to hurt his feelings. Until recently I’d
thought we were good friends. Now I wasn’t so sure. “I’m tired, Z. I just want
to go back to the hotel and go to bed.”
“No,
you want to go back to the hotel and fuck Dev.” His words made me gasp in pain
because they had been like a slap in the face. I didn’t deserve for him to talk
to me like that. “It’s alright. I just don’t get it, though. Dev’s won the bet,
so I figured once he had been in your pants he would move on. Must be some good
pussy.”
If
his first words had been a slap the rest was a punch to the gut. I felt tears
burn my eyes even as confusion clouded my brain. “What do you mean, bet?” I
demanded louder than I’d intended.
Behind
me I felt Devlin wrap an arm around me as he turned back from paying our bill.
At my question, however, I felt him stiffen. Zander gave me a drunken grin and
tipped his beer bottle to his lips, making me wait for a response even as I
felt Devlin shifting behind me.
“The
bet I made with Dev two months ago, babe. The one that he put his prized John
Bonham drum sticks up for grabs against my signed Geddy Lee bass.” Another
drink of beer, this one longer as his words burned like acid across my skin.
My
fingers were trembling as I grabbed the beer bottle from him and threw it on
the ground where it shattered and spilled what was rest of the contents across
my sandal clad feet. “What was the bet, Z?” I demanded through gritted teeth.
Another
shrug, as if he didn’t know or just didn’t care that his next words were going
to shatter my heart. As if his words weren’t going to destroy me the point of
no return. “First one to bag you was the winner. Lucky for Dev, he now has my
bass.”
Devlin
moved so fast I didn’t see the fist as he swung out and punched Zander. Zander
stumbled back, knocking three people down in the process. I just stood there,
watching with deadened eyes as Devlin jumped his best friend. I didn’t move out
of the way as Zander somehow rolled and started punching Dev in the head. The
glass from the broken beer bottle didn’t faze them as they rolled around,
fighting.
The
fight went on and on. People moving quickly to get out of their way. A table
was destroyed, two chairs and numerous bottles and glasses. I remember watching
a live MMA fight with Linc once, and that was what the two men before me seemed
to be doing right then. They twisted at odd angels to get their punches in,
didn’t seemed to care if they fought dirty or not when Zander double punched
Devlin in the stomach then kneed him in the balls.
Wasn’t
that a big taboo with men? Never go for another man’s package?
Devlin
groaned in pain but didn’t pause in his attempt to annihilate his friend. He gained
the upper hand in a move that I wasn’t sure possible for such a tall man and
started hitting Zander in the ribs.
Two
bouncers broke through the crowd and tried to pull Devlin off Zander. He
shrugged them off like they were just bees that annoyed him. Two more stepped
forward to help and finally they were able to break the two rockers apart. Both
were bleeding, throwing curses at each other in a verbal battle now that they
could do so with their fists.
Still
I remained where I was, not even sure if I were breathing because the pain that
was ripping through me was so consuming.
It
was all a lie. My relationship with Devlin Cutter was nothing more than the
product of Devlin wanting to win some bet against his friend. All our nights
spent in each other’s arms, all his whispered words of how much he cared about
me, worshipped me… They were all lies. I was nothing more than a bet. Nothing.
I was nothing to him.
This book….. is absolutely AMAZING!!!
What would you do if you found out that you were part of a
bet between friends? One drunken night Natalie discovers Devlin and Zander
started this stupid game between them leaving her heartbroken. Thinking all she
was to Devlin was a means to the end of their bet, Natalie plans to play her
own game, give him the hope that she once had and then leave him broken and
Shattered at her feet! To find out how this all plays out you have to go grab a
copy of the book because if I go any further I might let things slip!
I remember reading about this bet in one of the previous
books in the series that shattered Dev and Nat’s frail romance and hoped there
would be a book that touched on this again…. My wish came true! I love Natalie,
she is a stubborn woman and is not afraid to stand up for herself even going so
far as to protect Devlin and Zander from her brothers after they betrayed
her. Devlin lives his life regretting
what he did to the woman he truly loves and has even caused a rift between him
and his son over what he did. I loved how this story unfolded especially with
everything that had happened previously.
The characters as always are wonderfully written and I am enjoying the
dual POV and how smoothly it seems to flow without overlapping the dialog.
These men are what dreams are made of especially since once they choose a love
interest they are in it for the long haul and are very protective of their
ladies. There is a family dynamic between the bandmates that just draws you
into the story and holds on tight.
I have been following this series since shortly after I
discovered the Indie World and being a Rocker story fan it was just fate that I
was to come across Terri Anne’s books. I have never been disappointed or felt
left down while reading one of her stories and recommend them to everyone. I am
giving this book 5 Shattering Stars and can’t wait for Liam’s story!!
The
USA Today bestseller hated school and reading until her aunt handed over her
first romance novel at the age of twelve, as crazy aunts tend to do. It gave
her a passion for the written word that has only increased over the years. Started writing her own novellas at the age
of sixteen, forcing her sister to be her one woman fan club. Now she has a few
more fans and a lot more passion for writing. Reese: A Safe Haven Novella was
her first Indie published book. The Rocker That Holds Me changed the tables and
kicked off The Rocker… series featuring the sinfully delicious members of
Demon’s Wings. The Rocker… Series has since expanded to OtherWorld with Axton
Cage and his band members. Terri Anne lives in Virginia with her husband, their
three children, and a loveable Olde English Bulldog